Monday, June 20, 2011

Update? What's that?

So sorry to have neglected this blog for so long. It isn't that I don't want to write ... I just can't seem to carve out the time these days.

In the future (not so distant future, I hope) I will be blogging about the following:

Our family trip to Disney World!
Stephen was granted the most amazing wish of a week in Orlando, FL and tickets to several of the Disney parks.

Life, in general ...
Too much going on, but I'll try to squeeze in a few details ASAP.

Hope y'all are having a fantastic summer!


Monday, March 21, 2011

They Say The First Year Is The Hardest ...



Well, I can with all honesty say that it's been the hardest year ever for me.

Losing mama.

It sort of hit me hard today while I was visiting my daddy. I walked in the kitchen that I grew up in. My mama's kitchen. Today was one year ago that my mama had her last meal, and it was cooked by me, in her kitchen. She called me that morning and asked us to come over, and wanted me to make tacos. Mama loved tacos as much as Stephen does. I'm so glad I was able to do that for her.

I could tell that mama was in a lot of pain that day. Her back was hurting her and she kept asking me to rub it for her. We didn't know that her liver was enlarged from the cancer that was going to take her life in only a few more days. Even though she was in a lot of discomfort, she mustered up the strength to wash the dishes and put them away before I had gotten back down stairs from taking Stephen to the bathroom. I hope I can be as tough as my mama was. No pain meds at all in the last stage of cancer. Not even a Tylenol. God love her, she wouldn't take them because they can cause liver damage. She had nothing for pain until a few hours before she died in the hospital on the following Wednesday.

I'll never forget those few hours I had alone with mama before the Lord took her home. I'll never forget the spiritual experience we shared before her spirit left her body. Some day I'll write about that experience. A whole year later and I still can't put it into words.

When I entered this world, it was only she and I and a medical staff. When she exited this world, it was only she and I and a medical staff. I will be changed forever because of the last moments we had together. I'm so thankful that she and I worked through our differences. We went through a couple of times over the last 24 years that we didn't speak for a long period of time. My fault, not hers. I know she wanted the best for me and as the old saying goes ... Mother knows best.

March 25th will be one year since the most important woman in my life exited this world and entered eternal life with her Lord and Savior. She was reunited with her loved ones. I miss her and will always have an empty space that only she can fill.

Friday, February 11, 2011

So When's The Last Time I Blogged About Stephen?

Yeah, I know! It's been a while, huh? Let me give y'all a brief update.

One of my old friends mentioned that she hadn't seen a photo in a while of Stephen and was caught a little off guard when she saw a photo of him with facial hair. Friend, I still cant believe it either! It just makes me want to cry when I compare his old photos to his recent ones. It feels like the last 18 years have flown by so quickly. I cannot tell you how much I wish I had listened to my Mawmaw years ago. The very last one-on-one conversation I had with her she was urging me to have more children. She couldn't imagine one child being enough. She had many siblings growing up and had eight children of her own. Well, I wouldn't have wanted eight children! But I do wish I had at least one more. Not only for my own reasons of loving children, but also so Stephen would have a brother or sister. My brother and I are ten years apart in age, but even so, we were always very close. I wish Stephen had that. If I could go back a few years I would have ignored the doctors and tried for another baby. Stephen is a miracle, and God could have performed another miracle - If we had allowed Him.

So, about Stephen. He's had a birthday since I last updated! He is now eighteen years old! Oh, be still my tearful heart! He and I stand exactly nose to nose and he weighs almost as much as I do. He is waaaay stronger than I am. He gets sweeter every day. Absolutely the love of my life, as I have said time and time again. And the icing on the cake is, we can even wear the same size. That's super cool! :)

A side note here: My laptop just up and died on me two days ago. I could cry a bucket of tears because the last three years of our life is on that thing. Photos of Stephen and my mama, videos of Stephen and my MAMA! I hope and I pray it can be repaired, or at the very least, I can have my photos and files copied. Either way, it''ll cost many dollars that I just don't have right now. So I will save all that for a future project.

I am now blogging from my old faithful Dell desk top computer that is still running on the XP operating system. Need I say more? They should have stopped at XP in my opinion. Best system they ever had.

Fortunately I do have some recent photos uploaded to facebook, so I will add one or two here to show y'all -- and dear old friend, brace yourself girl ... You won't believe your eyes.

Many Blessing!