Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Homesick (Missing Grandma)

Have you ever awoken with a certain person on your mind so strong you cannot stop thinking about them? That is what happened to me on Monday morning. I woke up with my paternal grandmother on my mind. I could close my eyes and see her sweet angelic face. As I washed the breakfast dishes and wiped down the counters, I found myself humming the tune, “How Great Thou Art” just as she used to do when I was a little girl sitting at her kitchen table.
I loved her voice. She had a high-pitched tone with a beautiful (and very proper) southern accent. The best way to describe her voice is, she sounded very much like Aunt Bea Taylor (if you watch The Andy Griffith Show, you know the voice).

Grandma always stayed busy in her little kitchen and that‘s where we spent most of our time. After grandpa passed away, an average day for me as a little girl was to visit grandma and have tea with her while she told me stories of her childhood. Grandma was a positive role model for me. In the twenty years I knew her, I never heard her speak against anyone, never heard her gossip, never saw her lose her temper, and never-ever did a “bad” word escape her lips. “Fiddle Sticks!” was her famous expression of anger or disappointment when the rare occasion called for it. As I grew into my teenage years, I often wondered how anyone could be at such peace in a world like this. I suppose I just assumed that no one had ever wronged grandma before. Why on earth would they? Years after she went home to be with the Lord, I learned otherwise. I learned that grandma had been treated very unfairly -- and that‘s putting it mildly. My parents told me all about it. I couldn’t understand why grandma didn’t share any of this with me. This was huge! I asked mama and daddy how grandma reacted - what did she say or do to the other person involved and their answer was not very surprising, considering it was grandma. She prayed for them.

Grandma was a woman of deep faith. She couldn’t talk about salvation or Heaven without getting tears in her eyes. Many times she told me, “This is all temporary - Heaven is my home. Oh, what a day that will be - when I see my Lord and Savior and thank Him face to face for all He’s done for me! I’ll see my loved ones again! And, if you follow my advice, you’ll be there with me some day when your time comes.” What an awesome legacy! I heard her pray often for her neighbors and friends. Most of them were unaware of her prayers. Nevertheless, the good Lord heard them … and so did I.

I asked mama yesterday, “wasn’t it about this time of year when grandma Willis went home to be with the Lord?” (that’s what grandma always called it when someone passed away)
Mama answered, “Yeah, it was May 14th”

Now I understand why I couldn’t stop thinking of her. The date must be in my subconscious. I was yearning to see grandma again. I know that someday I will. It’s been twenty three years … and I still miss her terribly.

Ironically, I lost each of my grandparents in the spring of the year.
Ironically, Springtime is the time of new beginnings.


Marie Willis ~+~ 1900-1986
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Homesick
By: Mercy Me

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is -- how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now