Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Bitter-Sweet Sixteen


mom dad and stephen 12/26/2008
Happy 16th - You've come a looooong way baby! We love you!

This birthday was a bittersweet milestone.

I'd be lying if I said it didn't just about kill me when I reached for the "Cars" paper plates and napkins for Stephen's birthday party. Right there in the middle of Walmart, it hit me like a ton of bricks and it was all I could do to keep it together.

You never know when or how hard reality is going to hit you. But you don't want it to be in the middle of Walmart. So I took a deep breath, bit my bottom lip and tried not to think about it. Like Scarlet O hara, “I'll worry about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow IS another day.”

The vision quickly appeared in my mind of how Stephen's sixteenth birthday "should" have been. We should be buying him a "real" car and he should be getting his drivers license.

But, it just wasn't to be.


If you think the above journal entry is bad, you should have read the one I wrote for my private diary.

I'm better today. My sixteen year old is laying here beside me, watching movies, and I feel more blessed than I deserve. The other day, I was seeing the glass half empty. I am partially blaming PMS for that. Today, I am seeing the glass half full.

No. It is over flowing!

As a side-note: I apologize for not having a better birthday photo. This was the best one of the three of us. Believe it or not, the others were even worse. It’s been Christmas/Birthday Palooza around here and we were all feeling it by the time this photo was taken. But, even so, would it have killed me to apply a little makeup and do something with my stringy hair? Sorry guys, you get a glimpse of the “natural” me. Darn men never need to primp. It isn’t fair …


Wishing all of you a Happy & Blessed New Year!


Bridgett said...

Oh Mia. Mia, honey. I understand. I truly do. Autumn's already surpassed Parker developmentally. While I'm thrilled with her progress, it kills me to know how delayed Parker actually is. He's come so far...but he still has such a long way to go.

And yes...I understand your agony, even if it was fleeting. Stephen should be getting his driver's license. But I truly believe God has something special planned for our boys. Will they ever be 'normal?'

No, probably not.

But I'm totally okay with that. I wouldn't want Parker any other way and I know you feel the same about Stephen.

I think you all look wonderful in that picture and Stephen looks so happy and proud.

He HAS come a long way, baby.

Happy Sweet 16, Stephen!


Chrissie said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet boy. I think he is doing great. You and your husband are great parents.
I hope you all have a wonderful new year.
Take care, Chrissie

Remo said...

I get the same way everytime Drew has a birthday. We'll get there, maybe not be everyone else's calendar schedule but we'll get there.

You are a great Mom!

Solitary Dancer said...

The picture of the 3 of you is just lovely. I don't pretend to understand the feelings you have but I respect them.

But know this. Stephen's got a great set of parents and I think, in his own way, he's added a special blessing to your life.


Bill said...

I believe that you and I, Stephen are both Capricorns. That makes us "Special". It is always nice to be "special" in someones eyes. You have your Mom and I have Libby.
Enjoy it!!! Happy Birthday.
Regards, Bill.

Sheria said...

Dear Mia, I'm just catching up on your journal. I so get your feelings and the mix of bittersweet joy. I think that I told you that my brother's son, my nephew, has Asperger's Syndrome. He is my pride and joy, but when he turned 21 last year, I couldn't help but feel a bit of sadness. When he was seven, he asked me if he was weird and it took everything in me not to just start crying and hold him tight. Some of the neighborhood kids had called him weird and he was hurt. I think that we want to protect the ones that we love, to hold them tight against hurt, and that's why we sometimes feel so sad that we want to curl up and cry. ut they also bring us so much joy that the tears pass and we discover that they offer us as much if not more comfort than we can ever offer them.

Janice said...

Your beautiful boy with the sweet smile is sixteen...where does the time go.
Love the music, very clever that you could put it on your blog.
We had the most beautiful pink sunset letting us know tomorrow is going to be a wonderful day.

MzAmy said...

I prefer the natural you. :)

This entry is bittersweet. I really don't know what to say, it's one of those situations, as a friend....where you just listen.
and you understand. and you try to uplift.

I don't know what to say, because. our kids are the same age, almost born to the same day. It's like your life is the flipside of mine.
It just makes your family all the more amazing to me. you are amazing to me.

I do like the pictures. The one of stephen as a baby, makes me want to wrap him up in a cuddly blanket and hold him close. :)

Your glass IS overflowing. :)