Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Ressie's Corner/Sunset with God

Ressie's corner/Sunset with God

I've been taking photo tips from SloMo, what do y'all think? I know we all agree, that girl has the eye. If I have SloMo's approval, I feel good about it J

The above picture's title is simply, "Ressie's corner."  Ressie is my aunt, the one I talked about in one of my Christmas entries. Ressie is one of my positive influences, like SloMo, Trish and I talked about on Saturday. The reason I have named it, Ressie's corner is because everything you see there on my nightstand was a gift from Ressie, with exception of my Rosary beads, which were a gift from a dear Catholic friend. I see Paul's beads there too, hanging beside my lamp. The lamp, also a gift from Ressie. Many times I have thought, surely there was some mix up~Ressie was really my mother. I guess that wasn’t meant to be, for I really love my mother, and although I am quite quirky, she helped mold me into me. Love me or Hate me, I say.

Do you notice the book on top of my pile of books that I am reading? Ressie bought that, and all of the others, except for the one on the bottom, which was a Christmas gift to myself last year, a collection of short stories by Louisa May Alcott. Ressie buys me a book every Christmas and usually for my birthday. We share the same taste in books. Some books, we simply love for the beauty of the cover. And they say you can't judge a book by the cover! I beg to differ. Last night I was reading, Sunset with God, which has a Bible scripture before each story. I like that, scripture and story on the same page. As I closed the book, I noticed on the cover of the book it says "Sunset with God. Meditations to end you day God's way". It has a picture of a porch, overlooking the ocean, with the sun setting on the horizon, an empty reading chair, beside that on a table-a journal and pen, a glass and pitcher of iced tea (the drink of the south) a fern dangling from the ceiling of the porch. The only thing missing, was me, sitting in that chair. I must admit, I studied the cover of this book more intense than the story I'd just read. I felt as though that empty chair was waiting for me. I was able to put the book down, forget about life's problems that I can't control anyway, and drifted into a sleep feeling a peace that I didn't feel before. The objects you see on my nightstand are very important to me. They comfort me.

What would I find on your bedside table?

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

An Award, much to my surprise

Much to my surprise, I found this in my mailbox on Saturday! Thank you for the E-mail, John G! Thanks to the panel of the Journal Keepers for finding interest in my Journal, and for being so kind to give me your award. I display it proudly and thank each of you!  

Monday, January 26, 2004

I'm a cabbage patch kid.

If you have trouble seeing the album, click your refresh button.(worked for me)

I don't think I've mentioned that sometime before Chirstmas, my mom began having back, hip and leg problems.  I've been going over there and helping as much as I can. This morning, she wanted my help. No..I'll rephrase that, she needed my help with her personal care, house work, and of course, taking Rocky, their 12 year old dachshund out for a walk. I was feeling a little gloomy this morning. Partly because the weather was gloomy. As I walked with Rocky in my parent's backyard, the backyard I have known all my life, I stayed in daddy's garden for almost an hour, in the cold. Funny, I didn't feel cold at the moment. If you've looked at the album up there, you understand. For as long as I can remember there has been in a garden in that spot. It used to be about a 1/2 acre larger. This is his winter garden. Broccoli, turnip greens, cabbage, winter onions. A little this, and that. In the summer, big sweet, juicy tomatoes, pole beans, butter beans (called limas by most) etc.. The list goes on. When my brother asked mom how he got here, she felt he was too young for the speech and blurted out, "we found you under a cabbage leaf" He bought it! Well, it would make sense to a 4 year old, if your daddy grows cabbage, wouldn't it? This is the garden where I walked beside daddy, putting seeds in the rows for him. At the end of the day, he would say, "Daddy's girl sure was a big help today!" I felt so proud of myself, I am sure I glowed. I loved getting my hands in the soft soil, I loved the smell of fresh tilled dirt. Sadly (a thought I avoid), when mama and daddy go to Heaven, it will be my place to do the gardening. I won't let his legacy die. He's well known in the neighborhood as The Gardener. I just hope I can learn as much as he wants me to. I decided today to be that little helper again, to learn all I can absorb from him. I will soon go over and take pictures of him working his masterpiece. I will treasure those pictures like gold. Soon, it began to sprinkle again, I actually let it hit my face like I did when I was little. I breathed in and smiled a huge smile. What a beautiful day to remember.  

Thursday, January 8, 2004

Introducing our girls!

In honor of and much thanks to Andrea for helping me through my Journal woes tonight, I am posting not ONE but TWO entries about the other members of my family. Because I know how she loves kitties, and that she probably doesn't even know that I too love them dearly, I am going to introduce you to my two girls, Puzzle (nickname-kitty mama) featured above & Patches (nickname-baby girl) is pictured below.

It was a chilly, October evening 2 yrs and 3 months ago, when we met Puzzle. We had just gotten Stephen in his bed, and we went out to the porch to build a fire in the outdoor fireplace that I had just gotten for Paul so we could sit out there in the cold, and stay warm by the fire. (we don't have an indoor FP) and for some reason, we just had to have one. I remember that I felt something furry rub against my legs and scared the holy manure out of me. We live in the country and it could've been anything, I've seen possums on our porch before. So, I hear this, scared MEOW, and I looked down and saw the saddest looking kitten I'd ever seen. The only light I had was the fireplace, so when I saw her face, I said, "Oh, Paul-look it's been burned and has a scar on it's face! and it's so boney!" I immediately ran in the house and got her some tuna, and she's been a member of our family ever since. My first cat since I was 5 yrs old! Who knew I liked cats? Looking at her face, you can see how we came up with the name, Puzzle. As it turned out, it was not a scar, just a very interesting mark across her face that looks like a puzzle piece. So fitting for her too, for she filled in a part of our lives that was missing. Especially, mine. The following June, she had 3 kittens, we found homes for 2 and kept the runt. The one that everyone calls "ugly." We named her Patches. She's always been babied and is so friendly with everyone. Mama only trusts us. I guess she does have scars. Our neighbors call us the people w/the ugly cats. I beg to differ! Beauty's in the eye of the beholder. (my personal childhood trauma about cats, told below) Also, Patches has her own album.

Our other girl...Patches (baby)

For 30 years, I fought it and claimed to not be a "cat" person. The sad truth is, I've secretly always adored kitties. When I was a very little girl, we had an indoor dog, and my daddy had a few hunting dogs. But being the girly-girl that I was, I wanted a kitten. At age 5, my parents let me have my first kitten. A beautiful little Siamese kitten. I named it, Kitty. Kitty caught something, and died after I had gotten good and attached to her. Then, a few months after that, one of daddy's renters asked if I wanted one of their kittens, I asked my parents and they were hesitant, after having to deal with my grief over Kitty, but agreed. I don't remember this kitten's name, or whether it was a boy or girl. Perhaps I've blocked as much as possible. This kitten followed me everywhere I went. It was summer, and I had a playroom in the basement. This is where this little tabby and I played and snuggled. The kitten knew that my parents kept milk in the extra refrigerator down there, and I always shared my milk with it. You know how cats always follow you to the fridge, and try to get in there? I guess they know that's where the goods are. One day, I was getting us some milk & I turned & let the door slam to pour some milk into the kitten's bowl. I turned when I heard a flopping noise. That's when I realized, I had injured my little kitty. Yes, it's little head got caught in the fridge when I slammed it, and I broke it's neck. It died in my arms as I screamed for mama to come downstairs. I'm serious, I was severely traumatized after that. It still makes me feel horrible when that picture enters my mind. "That's IT!" my mama told daddy. "She can never have another cat! She may never get over this!" We did have a tom cat who wandered up a few years later, but he was never allowed in the house. I played with him outside, and he'd cat around for days, and then, wander back. One day, I found him in the curve, he'd gotten hit by a car. So, you can clearly understand why I thought I wasn't a "cat" person. I'm bad luck to cats! They would do the sign of the cross when I crossed their paths. But, then, 30 years & 2 cats later, that 5 year old little girl in me, has peaked out and admits that she loves cats! The girls are part of our family, and you can see, that between the two of them, and Stephen, we just work for the 3 of them. Stephen & cats RULE!

 

I tried to edit the below entry, and it's like the links are all dead... I've been having this problem, repeatedly! I have found it most frustrating. All I want to do, is add photos and edit my entries, and no way am I able to do this with either journal.  I contacted AOL live help about this issue and the friendly person I spoke with, was unable to help. Although I know they meant well, their "help" was about as useful as a rubber crutch. 

I have literally been trying since this time yesterday to update both  of my journals, no luck with either, except the miracle that I was finally able to add a photo from hometown to this entry after clearing some ftp space (the only advice that was helpful) (I didn't have a lot stored in it to start with) ANY ideas? those of you who update often, adding photos, doing editing and such? Has is become a major pain the the neck for anyone else? Is it just me? I

I'm going to unplug this baby for a while and get some much needed "rest." 

I hope this all went through, via IM!

Weathered

Yes, I've been quiet.  That photo up there describes how I feel after 3 weeks of 24/7 caregiving.  Poor, lambchop. Stephen has put her through a lot. But it was all through his love.  He hangs on to her (and me) all the time. Look how she's aged.  I know the feeling. I've been through it too, every step up the hill. He didn't mean to wear us out. He's just loves us to death.  We've both been chewed on, hugged on, kissed on, cried on,  puked on, crapped on. Some may see lamby and myself and say, "Gosh, look  how neglected!" ahh, but those who say these things do not know the magnitude of LOVE that has brought us here. We treasure every tear, rip, wrinkle and stain. Yeah-we feel as exhausted as we look, but HIS face is the first one we see each morning, and that gives us the will to face the day. He is the one who kisses us with slobbery smooches each night, and we go to sleep, thanking God for him and all we've been through. We have lived! We've survived! The following song is my theme song today for obvious reasons.

MASTER OF THE WIND
V. 1
MY BOAT  OF LIFE

SAILS  ON A TROUBLED SEA

EVER THERE’S A WIND  IN MY SAILS

BUT  I HAVE A FRIEND

WHO WATCHES  OVER ME

WHEN THE BREEZE 

TURNS INTO  A GALE

CH

I KNOW  THE MASTER  OF THE WIND

I KNOW  THE MAKER  OF THE RAIN

HE CAN CALM  THE STORM

MAKE THE SUN  SHINE  AGAIN;

I KNOW  THE MASTER  OF THE WIND



SOMETIMES  I SOAR  LIKE AN EAGLE  TO THE SKY

AMONG THE PEAKS  MY SOUL  CAN BE FOUND

BUT  AN UNEXPECTED  STORM

MAY DRIVE ME  FROM THE HEIGHTS

IT MAY  BRING ME LOW

BUT IT CANNOT  BRING  ME  DOWN
CH.


LET  JESUS CALM  YOUR STORM

MAKE THE SUN  SHINE  AGAIN

HE IS  THE MASTER  OF THE WIND.