Thursday, October 30, 2003

When This Picture Was Taken...

The picture above was taken at the Special Olympics in April 2001. First grade. I like this picture for several reasons. I love the way, you can only see Stephen’s adorable face and smile, because he was wearing a hooded jacket. I remember that it was really cool and windy that day; that is why I have his ears covered with the hood. This was a happy day. A happy school year. The moment this picture was taken, we had no way of knowing the struggles we were about to face the next school year, with the school system. Second grade left scars. Physical scars on Stephen, and emotional scars on my heart. That year, he didn’t participate in Special Olympics. Why? I do not know. Maybe our county didn’t have it that year. If they did, his teacher didn’t let me know. The teacher he had that year was more interested in trying to talk me into committing Stephen into a mental institution, or transferring him to another school that was better equipped to “handle” him. I’m terribly ashamed to admit this, but she almost had me convinced. She nearly had me convinced that there was no hope, that he was only going to be a burden that I couldn’t carry. Well, Stephen and I have proven her wrong. She considered him a burden because she was (and unfortunately, still is) in the wrong profession. I do not consider him a burden, because - I love him.

When this picture was taken, I didn’t know that we would be burying my grandmother one week later. When this picture was taken, my health was already deteriorating and I just thought I was coming down with a little bug. Another reason I like this picture is because, I was truly happy that day. My smile was real, not forced. Stephen hasn’t learned how to conceal his emotions. If he’s happy, he smiles. If he’s sad or in pain, he cries. If he’s mad, he screams. Mostly, he just smiles J

Today, he is home, sick-again. He’s watching TV, and he is smiling, embracing his lamb chop puppet. I have managed to force a smile or two. It’s just that I know how susceptible he is to pneumonia, and I am worried. The congestion is thick, and he’s coughing a lot. He might miss Halloween and he’s been so excited about it. But, he won’t complain. He'll smile and give out candy. What a guy!

16 comments:

jslack605 said...

Have they trained you how to do percussion when the conjestion gets bad. Do you know about postural drainage. Do you use bronchodilators. To many questions I have. You are a hard worker and a good Mom. Have you taken time for a bubble bath lately, or eaten on a Tootsie Roll Pop. That's an excellent picture, you both are so happy.

babyshark28 said...

I am glad he mostly smiles, it's because he is in a wonderful family that truly care for him. I am saddened to hear about your trials in second grade, some teachers think they know soo much, I swear. Their heads are bigger than their hearts I tell ya. I am also saddened to hear he is sick, poor little guy - but, handing out candy is just as fun! Anyway...I hope everyone will be on the mend soon. :)

freeepeace said...

I'm interested in knowing more about Stephen's physical scars from 2nd grade and about your deteriorating health. I don't recall reading about your health - did I miss something? (sorry if i did)
Also, I understand 'worry' very well (you know i do) Just a reminder - thoughts create reality. Trust the process. You are the most selfless person when it comes to your son! If anything, I'd love to see you be a little more selfish! xo

raisinglouisiana said...

I love this picture. Both of your smiles
are heartwarming, and you are a great
mother! I'm sorry that the little guy, and
you as well, have had some rough times.
Passing out candy can be just as fun, less
tiring really on both of you, and he'll have
plenty of smiles to pass out as well!
Just reading this is a TREAT for me!
Love ya both, Penny

aims814 said...

Awww, gee... you guys are the best. {sniff,sniff} His daddy (also a little boy:) insists on at least carrying him in his convaid stroller to a few houses down the street. There is a couple who has a neat haunted house every year. (great) If he's too sick to go in, he wants him to be able to see the goings on. But, I'm not sure, he's just laying around, coughing and has a fever. Maybe getting a chest X-ray this weekend :(

mygr8creatures said...

You are such a wonderful person and mother. I have so enjoyed the last couple days of reading your journal and look forward to coming back. I'm so glad I found it! You are an inspiration. I too am the momma of a special needs kiddo (differently though)...Our lives are so fulfilling, if not always easy, having these precious blessings! I wish y'all all the best :)

happyb8888 said...

True love removes all burdens, Mia, and it's quite obvious that you've got it. Some people only look at what will make their lives easier. It's the people who are committed to making life happier for those they love that deserve respect and admiration. Keep up the good work, girl. You're reward may only be Stephen's smile, but I couldn't think of one that's worth more. :)

That Happy Chica,
Marcia Ellen

sonensmilinmon said...

I've been doing some journal hopping this evening & I came to check yours out. After reading this one entry I felt compelled to respond. I had (she's out of school now) a daughter in special education, we were told she would never read beyond a 2nd/3rd grade level. I REFUSED to believe in the limitations they placed on her. She HAS proved them WRONG!!! Your so right, our children are NOT a burden, they are our LOVES. :) BTW, beautiful picture!
Smilin Mon

slowmotionlife said...

I love this photograph. I know that finding true happiness must be difficult when faced with so many daily challenges, but you both look soooo truly happy. That boy is not a burden.. he's a blessing. And so are you. I hope you guys had a fun-filled Halloween and that Stephen is feeling better soon.

babyshark28 said...

I came over here..because I like too and also to respond to your comment. I hide my sons candy on top of the refrigerator, I think it is the only place in the house he can't get to! So, what is Stephen's favorite candy by the way? :)

freeepeace said...

I keep popping my head in here hoping for a new post but I'm secretly pleased you haven't updated yet because I love that the first thing I see is this stunning picture. The glow of the two of you is almost angelic. It depicts how I always feel when I come here - joyous, grateful, alive. Love and sloppy kisses from Freee and Hunny! xo :)

aims814 said...

Hi Freee and Babyshark.. I'm sorry I haven't posted. Stephen seems to be getting worse :( I took time last night to make my journal rounds and post comments, but that was all I could do. Plus, I hurt my back again and I think I caught his bug, I've been coughing too. babyshark, stephen pushed a chair to the fridge and tried to get his candy, lol! He sends kisses and hugs to all.

slowmotionlife said...

Hi Mia, sorry to hear that Stephen is feeling worse. I think I've read and heard so much about him now, and your love for him is so contagious, that I'm starting to get that "Mommy-Fret" over him. I was reading your comment and literally wringing my hands. Please keep us informed. We really do care about the three of you.

aims814 said...

Aw, gee... how sweet. He's doing okay, since he's had a breathing treatment and was able to get the yucky-stufff up. (pardon me for having to put it that way) It''s 12:35 pm, and day two that I've had this bath robe on. He's destroying the living room as I type, so I think it's safe for me to leave him long enough to shower and change, maybe even go and grag a happy meal for him (and myself) lol.. Thanks for caring! {hugs}

aims814 said...

ROFL.. judging from the typos in my comment below, I need sleep! heeheehee!

sissyqq said...

You have a beautiful child and you sound like an amazing mother. Stumbled upon your journal....will definitely be back!